Hello, my name is Ayalla, about four months ago I lost my eldest son Hillel. He was taken from us suddenly, run over to death - hit and run. Even before we got up from the seven(funerals), the offender was set free, and we have no ability to fight this delusional injustice. Everything crashed in an instant and there is no trace of the feeling of security and support from the authorities. I feel like they just put us in a gray folder as an unhappy page and closed it.

Hillel was always the center of the house. As the eldest son, he always knew how to gather and mediate between everyone. He was full of laughter, creativity, and breaking boundaries, wherever he was he left a significant presence, he was mature for his age, and I always knew I could lay my head on him. Countless times I imagined what he would become when he grew up and I marveled at his emotional containment, it always gave me a sense of satisfaction that he would take care of himself and his three siblings.

There is really no words to describe the magnitude of the loss and the feeling of despair that filled the house, they say that time heals and here it feels exactly the opposite. We thought to get back to functioning - because we have to, and it just isn\\\'t happening. The side effects of the severe trauma are uncontrollable in my mind and body, continuous panic attacks, tremors and exhaustion are unbearable for me, sleepless nights and the expression of pain by each family member in their own way crush my ability to return to full function at the level I wanted, the need for urgent treatment brought with it the need for much more expenses An emergency, when in practice the family\\\'s income has decreased by more than half the capacity. We live in a small town in the outskirts (Arad), we are well-known (following the disaster) and in various frameworks, but the municipal support capacities of the city are very few to zero. I am looking for treatments, diagnoses and assistance in coping and there is simply no response and the little that exists is only in private clinics. In a short time, we started to accumulate debts and we barely manage to meet even the basic daily bills, when the conduct is very limited, so I can only imagine about treatments for the children and the ability for some kind of rehabilitation. So, I need to learn to ask for help and support from those around me and learn to let go and lean in situations where I can no longer hold on. Along with the loss of Hillel, I also lost my self-confidence completely. I have no idea what will happen five minutes from now, the memory is impaired, and disconnections come uncontrollably. I have no confidence in my abilities and my fighting spirit is shattered. I hardly manage to pick myself up in the face of this undefined situation and for the first time in my life I admit defeat. I hope that I will be able to find tools to pick myself up because apart from the fight for my family\\\'s life on a daily basis I want to succeed beyond that - to fight against the decision to release a criminal who killed me (that\\\'s Not a mistake in what was said - this is what happened in practice), delaying procedures and hiding information that I, as a mother, need so much and they simply do not allow me. In the eyes of the system, we are small, and I hope that I will be able to muster the strength to change this. I am turning to the masses for support and for any help that is possible, help me rise from this pain and succeed in restoring the family. Any help that will make a significant difference even in the actual act. Help me see the light at the end and be able to learn to live again and see the strength of life. I hope that the words I have brought here will also help in raising awareness of our story,

Thank you in advance to everyone for the opportunity to share my pain.